


3 am

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Episode: s02e01 In the Shadow of Two Gunmen Part I, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-10-05
Updated: 2002-10-05
Packaged: 2019-05-30 22:43:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15106334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Who was Lisa? Why did Josh seem unhappy when Sam announced he was marrying her? What happened? Written pre-100K Airplanes





	3 am

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

_"she says baby , it's 3 am I must be lonely,"_

Present Day

Sam Seaborn sat in his office.

He stared at his desk.

Although his body was in the room his mind was elsewhere. 

His mind was back at the Newseum, back in Rosslyn. 

His ears didn't hear the sounds of the bustling Bullpen outside his door.

They heard the percussion of gunfire.

They heard the panic of Toby's voice shouting for help.

They heard the painful wheezing as his best friend tried to breathe through a collapsed lung.

They heard the shouts and calls of reporters as he left the hospital.

They heard the phone ringing.

The phone ringing?

Sam was thrust back into the present by the insistent noise coming from the phone on his desk. Thinking it might be news about Josh he lurched forward, nearly falling out of his chair, and grabbed the receiver. 

"Sam Seaborn" He said quickly into the phone. 

"Hey Baby, it's 3am I must be lonely." Said a voice from his past.

* * *

1997

Lisa Stewart hated the rain. Especially the rain in New York, for some reason it seemed all that much wetter than anywhere else that she lived. It was cold as well. 

Not like her native California where the rain always seemed warm and fresh, no matter what the season. 

Despite the rain she like New York. There was a life to the city that seemed inextinguishable. It really was the city that never sleeps. She remembered her first visit as a child. Her father had had business with one of the large firms that populated Manhattan so he decided to make a holiday of it for his family, arranging for his wife and three children to stay with him. 

It was one of the best holidays she'd ever had. 

There was still the same wonder in her eyes now as when she was eight years old and now she had even more to marvel at. 

This was the city where she had met her fiancé. The man that she was going to marry in just a few short months. The man she loved so dearly.

She'd met Sam Seaborn two years ago. 

1995

Her boss was opening a new gallery, one that she was set to manage, and had thrown a large party. Of course Mr Mattheu felt it best that he invite some of the most influential and powerful people in New York, that was the sort of man he was. The attendees included the Mayor, several city officials, actors, producers, Wall Street moguls and representatives from some of the largest law firms in the city. 

She'd noticed him early on, standing and conversing easily with some of the other guests. He was striking because of his age.

Most of the other guests were all old, well a lot older than Lisa at least. She often felt out of place at parties like this, normally she was the only one under thirty in the entire room.

This time she was not. The man she couldn't help but look at seemed to be in his mid-twenties. He was exquisitely dressed in a well-tailored navy suit. He was tall but not overly so, and his black hair shone under the gallery lights. 

Lisa had silently wished for him to turn round so that she could see his face. Before she could make her way over to him though she was called to the front to make the opening speech and introduce the owner. 

During the toast she looked for the young man in the crowd but could not see him. Disappointed, thinking that he had probably already left, Lisa went to look at some of the paintings in the more quiet areas of the gallery.

Turning down one of the isles, Lisa stopped suddenly when she saw someone sat on the floor looking up at one of the more obscure works on display.

It was him!

Walking up so that she was standing parallel to where he sat she said,

"It's really quite odd isn't it?"

He turned his head, startled by her voice. Finally she got a good look at his face. She was immediately stuck at how handsome he was. His lightly tanned skin, stood out against the stark white of his shirt, the sculpted jaw and dark hair seemed to bring out his most attractive feature; his eyes. 

Lisa had rarely seen eyes that blue, they reminded her of the Pacific Ocean when the sun was shining down. There was a mischievous glint in them that suggested a rather highly developed sense of humour. All in all Lisa liked what she saw. 

"Odd, yes that's one way you could describe it. I was actually just trying to figure out if it was the right way up or not. I haven't got a clue as to what it's supposed to be."

She couldn't help but chuckle at his honest admission.

"You know we do have chairs around here that you could sit one." She said, finally realising that he was sat on the floor. 

He seemed kind of stumped by this statement and started to fumble for a reply. Smiling and taking pity on him she let him off the hook and sat down next to him on the floor. Holding out her hand she said,

"I'm Lisa Stewart."

"Sam Seaborn." He smiled as he replied. The name seemed familiar to Lisa but for some reason she couldn't place it. It was probably just from the guest list.

"So, Sam Seaborn, what do you do and how come you're here sat on the floor looking a really terrible painting when you could be networking with the hoy-palloy?" No point beating around the bush, Lisa felt that she really wanted to get to know this man.

He chuckled and flashed her a winning smile. A smile that Lisa knew could melt even the coldest woman's heart. Her's was now in a puddle on the floor. 

'Damn he's attractive' she thought to herself.

"Well I'm a lawyer at Dewey and Ballentine. I'm sat here on the floor because I really don't like 'networking with the hoy-palloy' as you so eloquently put it."

"That has to be a first!" She exclaimed. Seeing his puzzled expression she explained, "A young lawyer in this town who doesn't like networking." They both chuckled. He looked up at her again and smiled. This time Lisa couldn't help but blush, she tried to hide it by looking down and smoothing wrinkled out of her light beige linen skirt.

"So what do you do Miss Stewart?" 

"Well I am the new manager of this gallery Mr Seaborn."

"Wow," he said looking back toward the painting, "I take it they haven't given you free rein over what you display yet?" Again with the smile. He was smooth this one, but she really couldn't care, as long as that smile was directed at her. 

This time she laughed out-right at his comment. She had spent but five minutes with him and she already liked him, wanted to get to know him better. She looked back up to his face and found him staring at her. It seemed that the feeling was mutual.

Just as Lisa felt herself becoming lost in the azure gaze she heard a voice coming from somewhere nearby.

"Leeee-zzaaaa!" The unmistakable French accent could only mean one person. 

She sighed. It looked like her time with the lovely young lawyer was over.

"Well that's my pager." She said and started to get up. Before she could blink Sam was already on his feet, holding out his hand to help her up. She gratefully accepted, even if was just to experience some form of physical contact with him.

He didn't let go of her hand and she looked back up into his eyes.

"Would you - um- would you like to go out for coffee sometime?" He asked somewhat hesitantly, tacking on a small but hopeful grin to the end of the sentence.

'Thank God! I thought he'd never ask' she thought.

"Leee-zzaaaa, daaarrrling, where are you?" Came the disembodied voice again. Taking a business card out of her jacket pocket, taking out a pen she scribbled her home number on it and she handed it to Sam.

"I really should be getting back to the party. Call me?" He smiled again and handed her one of his own cards which she carefully placed into her other pocket. 

"I should get back too. Mr Dewey will be wanting to show me off again." He said with a weary sigh. Any more conversation was halted as Mr Mattheu came around the corner and promptly whisked Lisa away. 

The rest of the night dragged on. Lisa was forced to carry out boring and meaningless conversations with even more boring and meaningless people. Her one shining light was that Sam seemed to be having exactly the same trouble. She stole glances at him from across the room and he would often send pained looks her way. 

Eventually things wound down, and most of the guests left. She saw that Sam and an older gentleman, whom Lisa guessed to be Mr Dewey, were among the first to go. She couldn't help but be disappointed but she felt slightly better knowing that he had her number. 

After everyone had gone Lisa found herself stuck with preliminary clean-up duty. The cleaners would take care of most of it in the morning but she couldn't just leave it all for them, it went against her nature for some reason.

Whilst collecting some plates and putting them in a trash bag, she was startled by a knocking on the window. Looking up she was surprised to see Sam Seaborn stood outside, smiling. 

Lisa walked over and opened the door for him.

"I thought you'd gone home?" she quizzed him

"I did." He said simply, as if that explained everything. "I know it's late and you probably want to go home, after all it looked like you had a pretty horrendous night tonight and I'd understand if you said no..." He trailed off. He'd been babbling and it was really rather endearing. Finally he managed to say what he wanted. "I was wondering if you'd like to go for that coffee now?" 

Looking up at him and smiling she dropped the trash bag on the floor.

"Sure." She smiled, "why not? Just let me grab my stuff and I'll be right with you."

She hurried back to her office, grabbing her purse and keys she stopped to check herself in the mirror before going back out. She smoothed down her linen suit, touched up her lipstick and ran a hand through her shoulder-length, straight brown hair. 

"Not too shabby there, Lise, for one in the morning." She said to her reflection. Turning out the light and closing the door to her office she made her way back to Sam. She found him closely examining one of the paintings in the lobby. The way he was squinting at it made her wonder if he normally wore glasses.

"I'm ready." She said startling him. It was cute the way that he jumped when she spoke. He turned towards her and smiled waiting for her to join him at the door.

"There's a good coffee house just around the corner, if that's ok?" she asked.

"That sounds great" he replied. She turned off all the lights, set the alarm and then locked the door. They both made their way down the street to the coffee shop.

Lisa eventually made it home just before three am. They'd spent the two hours talking about everything they could think of. It came as a surprise to find that he was also a native to California but had come to the East Coast for college, just like her, him to Princeton and Duke and her to Harvard. They'd both wound up staying. 

She discovered his love for politics, that he had been a congressional aide for a year before going to Duke. It was obviously a topic very close to his heart, he spoke about it with great passion. Lisa couldn't help but be reminded of one of her ex-boyfriends, one from college. He would have the same light in his eyes that Sam did when he spoke about politics.

She'd told him all sorts of things about herself. How she'd majored in History of Art with a minor in business administration, how she'd graduated third in her class at Harvard. How she loved New York, how this gallery was her first major break. He was easy to talk with, she found. He was good company and extremely easy on the eyes. 

All in all she had had a very good evening, well morning, with Sam Seaborn.

As she sat down on her sofa in the living room, kicking off her heals and resting her feet on the coffee table she heard the phone start to ring.

'Who on earth is calling me at three o'clock in the morning!' she thought to herself.

"Hello?" she said after picking up the phone. 

"Lisa?" said the voice on the other end of the phone. 

"Sam?" 

'why is he phoning me now?' she wondered.

"Yeah. I know it's late, well early I suppose, but I just wanted to say thank you for the great time tonight and to err well ask you if you'd like to have dinner with me sometime next week?" The last came out in a big rush, as if he wanted to get it out quickly for fear of being rejected.

It took Lisa a little while to process the information but eventually answered him.

"I had a great time too tonight Sam. I'd love to have dinner next week."

"Great!" He sounded elated. "How about I call you sometime on Monday to arrange it?"

"That would be lovely." She told him sincerely.

"Ok then. Thanks again Lisa I really did have a good time tonight. I'll talk to you Monday." And then he hung up. 

Lisa put the phone back on its stand and made her way into her bedroom. That night she dreamed of blue eyes and soft hands touching hers.

* * *

1997

Shaking out her wet umbrella whilst rummaging in her bag for her keys, Lisa couldn't help but be thankful for being home. 

She and Sam had moved into the apartment three months ago, just after they got engaged. It seemed logical to consolidate now, rather than wait until after they were married. That way they could just get used to living together.

It wasn't a large apartment. Not that they couldn't afford something much bigger, certainly after Sam's move to Gage Whitney eighteen months ago, it was just that neither of them wanted something big and flash. It just didn't suit them. 

They had found this one after weeks if searching. The moment that Lisa had set foot in the door she fell in love with it. When she looked over to Sam, she could tell that he loves it too. They immediately said yes to the agent and signed all the documents the next day.

She managed to dig her keys from the bottom of her bag, she pushed the door open with her back, still trying to shake as much water as she could from her umbrella. 

"Hey Sam! You home yet?" She called out into the apartment. She wasn't really expecting him to be home. She knew he often worked very long hours. She didn't mind that, he always made it up to her and she knew he hated spending so much time away from her, but Lisa knew that with his job it was often necessary for him to work late. 

So she wasn't really expecting to see anyone when she turned around. She certainly wasn't expecting the person that was sat on the couch.

"Hey Lisa." The person said softly.

"Joshua." She said quietly "Where's Sam?" 

"He's in there," Josh said, pointing towards the bedroom. Lisa strained her ears and she could hear Sam's soft voice talking. 

Moving from her stunned position by the door, she made her way into the kitchenette that looked out onto the living room. She placed her bag and umbrella on the counter and moved to hang up her coat by the door.

"How are you Josh?" She enquired politely and watched as he got up and made his way over to her. 

"I'm doing good Lise. Congratulations on the engagement by the way." He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "I'm happy for you." 

Lisa couldn't tell if he meant that or not. The history that they shared often made it difficult to judge him. She still couldn't believe that he was Sam's best friend.

* * *

1996

She and Sam had been dating for four months. They had a wonderful time together. Lisa had fallen hard for her blue eyed young lawyer. 

It was just after his move to Gage Whitney that she finally got to meet his best friend. He'd mentioned Josh a few times on their dates but she hadn't had a chance to meet him in person. He had some political job in Washington that meant he hadn't been to The Big Apple in a while. 

He and Sam had apparently met during the year that Sam was a congressional aide, Josh had taken the young man under his wing and showed him the ropes so to speak. They had been friends ever since. 

From how Sam had described his best friend, Lisa knew that she would like him as well. That was until she met him.

Sam had mentioned one morning that his friend was coming into town and asked if she minded if the had dinner with him. Lisa had arranged to meet them at the restaurant, she had gotten caught up at the gallery. 

She walked into the restaurant slightly flustered and looked over the crowd trying to spot Sam. She saw him waving to her, he was facing the door, his friend sat opposite, his back to her. 

Lisa made her way over and the two men both stood up. She was shocked when she saw the other man's face. 

"Lisa, honey, this is Josh Lyman. Josh, this is Lisa." Sam introduced them. Josh looked just as stunned as she was. Neither of them had expected to meet again, and certainly not like this. 

"Well I guess it's true what they say about there being only a hundred people in the world." Josh said cryptically. "Lisa, it's good to see you again. It's been a long time."

"Joshua. How are you doing?" she asked. Sam just looked bewildered.

"Err, you two know each other?" He asked.

"Yes. We were at Harvard together." Josh answered slightly uncomfortable. 

"We dated for a while." Said Lisa. She didn't want to hold anything back from Sam, especially not about this. 

"Oh." Was all Sam seemed to be able to say. He seemed to sense that there was more going on than just that they had dated. Lisa was grateful that he let it drop though. 

The rest of the evening went quite well under the circumstances. She and Josh actually managed to get along, there was none of the sniping that she had expected. 

At the end of the evening Sam left Josh at his car and made sure that Lisa got safely to hers. Josh was going to be staying at Sam's and that meant that she couldn't really go there and certainly meant that Sam couldn't stay at her place. Plus she knew that Sam would be up late working again. He was trying really hard to impress his knew employers. 

"Call me later?" He asked as he hugged her. 

"I will." She promised and then kissed him goodnight and got into her car. She saw that he watched her leave, always making sure that she left his sight safely. That was one of the things that she loved most about him, among the numerous other things, that he always looked out for her. 

She arrived home and got ready for bed, but sleep seemed to elude her. All she could think about was the near impossible coincidence of Josh Lyman coming back into her life. 

They had dated for a while back in college. They'd met in one of the numerous student bars that always seemed to accompany the presence of a large university. She'd been swept off her feet by his intelligence and personality, almost overwhelmed by him. They began dating and had a really great time, but after a few months things began to deteriorate. Their personalities began to clash. Josh Lyman has a naturally dominant personality and Lisa often felt stifled by him. They began to argue constantly and after one last disastrous and embarrassing date, they didn't call each other again. 

This history between them made it awkward for her to know that he would be back in her life again. They had not parted on the best terms to say the least, in fact she remembered calling him some very nasty things. She knew that she would have to try and get past it for Sam's sake though. She really did love him, even after the short time that they had been together and she could see herself spending the rest of her life with him. 

Sighing she turned over onto her side and stared at the clock on her bedside table. The green numbers glowed back at her, telling her that it was nearly three in the morning. Reaching over she picked up the phone and hit the first number on speed-dial. 

She knew he would still be awake. He always was. Insomnia was something he had suffered from for a while. Their three o'clock phone conversations had become a regular occurrence now, ever since that first one on the night they met. 

"Hello?" Said the voice on the other end, he had answered after only one ring.

"Hey baby, it's three am. I must be lonely." She said, her usual opening line.

"Hey. Are you ok?" he always asked. It made her smile. 

"Yeah. I miss is all. I couldn't sleep and I knew you'd be awake. How's the work going?" 

"Not too bad. I should be done soon. Although with Josh snoring away on the couch I doubt that I'm going to be getting much sleep tonight." He chuckled.

"Yeah he can be quite loud, especially after a couple of drinks." She hadn't really meant to say that. She didn't want to get into her relationship with Josh tonight. She knew that she had shocked him again when her comments were met with silence on the other end. 

"How long did you and he go out?" Well there it was. There was no avoiding it now. She supposed it was probably better to get it out of the way now. 

"About four months." She replied. Lisa then proceeded to tell him all about the relationship. She tried not to cloud it with her own emotions about Josh. She knew that he was a good guy, it was just that they didn't really get along anymore. She didn't want Sam to feel that he had to change his relationship with his best friend just because of her. 

After everything had been aired, she felt much better. It wasn't as if she was ready to become best buddies with Josh, but she would try and get along with him for Sam.

"I love you Lisa." It came out of the blue and Lisa couldn't be sure whether she had heard him correctly. It was the first time that either of them had admitted anything about their feelings for each other. It also seemed to be his way of telling her that everything was ok, all the business with Josh had been accepted and put aside. It wasn't going to affect them.

"I love you too Sam. I mean it." She wished she could be there with him, to touch him, kiss him. It seemed too important a moment for them to have shared over the phone. 

"I should let you get some sleep." He said softly over the phone. She felt sleepy now; just hearing his voice had made her feel better, more secure. 

They both said good night and reluctantly hung up. Lisa fell asleep hearing his words whispering to her.

"I love you Lisa."

* * *

1997

"When did you get here Josh?" She asked. Even after all this time they still couldn't get along. They were just too different. They were never openly hostile, it was just something that pushed them apart, some invisible barrier like the feeling of pushing two same-pole magnets together. 

"Erm, I got in yesterday, left again and came back today." He mumbled.

"What I should really ask is 'Why are you here Josh?'" she knew that he had been trying to get Sam to go and work for Senator Hoynes. She knew that Sam had been tempted but he didn't truly believe in Hoynes, not enough to give up everything. 

Lisa would always support her fiancé in everything that he did, just as she knew that he would support her. She knew he wasn't happy with what he was doing. She knew that it hurt him a little more each day knowing that he was helping large corporations get past their responsibility, helping them to destroy more and more of the world each day. She knew that there would come a day when he couldn't take it anymore. 

It looked as if today might be that day.

"I think I should probably let Sam explain that one to you." Just as he said it Sam came out of the bedroom, looking somewhere between extremely excited and lost. 

He looked up and noticed that Lisa was home.

"Hey honey, how was your day?" He asked and came over, kissing her on the lips. She kissed him back, just grateful for seeing him there.

"It was ok. We had a big collection come in today that I have to sort out over the weekend. How was your day? For some reason I get the feeling it was more exciting than mine." 

She watched as his expression changed, running between guilty, sad, excited and then settled on apprehensive. He guided her to the couch and sat down opposite her on the coffee table. Lisa knew that this was going to be big. 

"I quit my job today." Well at least he didn't beat around the bush. "I couldn't do it anymore Lise. They were going to destroy people and I didn't want to be a part of that anymore." He was looking down and she couldn't see his eyes.

She reached a hand up and touched his face, bringing his gaze to meet hers.

"I now you couldn't Sam. I've watched you try but it's not something that you can do." He needed her to understand that, to know that he couldn't take it anymore.

"Josh came to see me yesterday. Told me about a candidate for the Presidency, one that he is going to work for."

"So he finally convinced you to work for Senator Hoynes?" She asked, she wasn't sure that he would be any happier there than if he was still at Gage Whitney.

"No, it's not Hoynes." She said. He took her hand in his. "His name is Josiah Bartlett, he's the Governor of New Hampshire. I'm going to join the campaign as a speechwriter." There was a light in his eyes that she hadn't seen for a while. 

"I need to do this Lise."

"I know you do Baby." She smiled at him She would support him in this. It may mean that they spent some time apart but she knew that he needed to find himself again.

"We'll make it work. You'll be in New Hampshire for a while won't you? We can see each other on weekends and we can call every night. But I can't leave the gallery, it's just really beginning to take off."

"I would never ask you to leave the gallery Lisa. I know how hard you've worked to get it where it is now." He moved to sit beside her on the sofa, still holding her hand. 

"I love you Lisa." He said looking into her eyes. She felt herself getting lost in the blue depths of his, like she often did. "Nothing is ever going to change that. No matter where I am I'm going to be thinking about you and the wedding." He gathered her into a hug, she breathed in the scent of his aftershave, mixed with the smell of the rain in his hair. It seemed as if she had never loved him more than in this one moment but she couldn't help but feel apprehensive. 

Two days later he left the apartment for Manchester. 

For a while things went on as normal. They spoke on the phone every night. Their three o'clock calls becoming more and more frequent. He would come home on weekends and she would occasionally go up there to see him.

He seemed so much more alive, there was a spark of excitement about him that Lisa felt was contagious. She began to share it with him, especially after she met the Governor. Sam had asked her to come and visit, attend a dinner where Bartlett was going to be reading one of Sam's speeches. 

She had been so proud of him that evening. She could tell that the words had been his, she could always tell. And when Bartlett spoke those words, they seemed to come alive. 

Lisa didn't like to think about what that meant though. She found herself thinking about what they would do when Bartlett became president. She had no doubt that he would. 

September came and went. There was no wedding that month. Not for want of trying on Sam's part. There just hadn't been enough time to finalise everything, Lisa felt it best if they postponed it for a while. Maybe until after the campaign. 

It wasn't until after the Illinois Primary that Lisa knew that the wedding was never going to happen. It broke her heart to think about it but she knew it would never work when Sam lived in Washington and she lived in New York. 

That night she dialled his cellphone. She'd watched Bartlett's speech on the TV. It was one of Sam's again, she knew that he would still be awake. 

"Hey Baby, it's three am I must be lonely." She said when he picked up. 

"Hey honey." He sounded weary. Not how she expected at all.

"What's wrong?" She asked, automatically worried.

"Josh's father died tonight." That was not what she had expected. 

"I'm sorry. Give him my condolences. Are you OK?" Lisa knew that he would be worried about his best friend, frustrated that he couldn't be with him to help. 

"Yeah I'm, fine. Did you see that we won tonight?"

"Yeah. Congratulations. I wish I could be there with you." She said 

"I wish you were here too. I miss you so much. Good news is that I'm coming home next week. We'll be in New York for a while before going to California."

"Oh baby that's great!" She smiled. She really wanted to see him, hold him again. She missed his presence so very much.

On the other end she heard someone shout his name and then heard him sigh. She knew that he wouldn't be able to talk anymore. 

"I have to go Lise. I'm sorry." She could almost hear the tears in his voice. She felt a few of her own appear in her eyes. 

"It's ok baby. I'll see you soon. We can spend some time together. I love you."

"I love you too. Take care of yourself until I get there." The sound of the shouting voice became more insistent and they hung up. 

She turned on the radio to her favourite station. The one that she liked to listen to late at night when missing him became too much for her. The song playing couldn't have been more perfect. It was a song seemingly written for them.

__

"she says baby  
it's 3 am I must be lonely   
when she says baby   
well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes  
says the rain's gonna wash away I believe it"

Lisa looked at the photo on her nightstand. It was of them standing at the top of the Empire State Building. It was taken just after Sam had proposed to her. He had a big grin on his face, her eyes were twinkling as they looked at him. They were so happy. 

She couldn't stop the tears from flowing now. She knew what she had to do next week. Even though it would kill her to do so, she knew she had to break up with him. When he saw her next week he would know how unhappy she was without him, he would give up everything he had worked for to be with her. He would go back to being the type of lawyer that he hated being, just to be with her. 

The selfish part of her wanted him to do it. To stay here with her. The rest of her knew that she couldn't ask him to do that. Knew that he would be unhappy and that it would eventually come back to haunt them. He had a shot at working in the White House. Something she knew that he'd always dreamed of. She couldn't hold him back from that. 

That night she cried herself to sleep. Knowing that she was about to lose the man she loved.

* * *

It was an early Sunday morning when she heard his key in the door of their apartment. She had waited so long to hear that sound again, she didn't realise how much she really missed it. 

Before she could fully wake up, enough to get up and see him. He was there in the room, sat on the bed beside her. 

She looked up into his eyes and her tears, tears she didn't want him to see began to fall. Silently he kissed them from her face, she fell into his embrace, his warmth, his kiss. Her resolve vanished. She couldn't let him go. Not yet. She wanted to spend one more week with him.

That day they didn't leave the apartment, rarely making out of the bedroom. Later as she lay in his arms, somewhere between sleep and wakefulness she heard him whisper,

"I missed you baby, I missed you so much. I don't know if I can leave you again." She felt a drop of wetness hit her cheek, knew that he was crying. 

Lisa knew that she couldn't let him stay. Maybe she was being foolish letting him go, maybe her love for him was making her irrational, but she couldn't see it. All she could see was that her love for this man was holding him back, as was his love for her. She couldn't take the risk that somewhere along the line he would start to hate her, he would hate that their relationship stopped him from going to the White House.

The time that he was back in New York was glorious, both catching up with the events that had taken place while he was gone. They had little time to spend together but what little they did have they made the most of.

The end came all too soon for Lisa though. Bartlett won the New York primary, walked away with it. Lisa knew it was time to set him free. 

One day, while he was out at the campaign office she packed up some of her things, the most essential items and took them to the gallery. She had arranged for some time off, she would be going to Europe for a while, somewhere that he couldn't contact her right away.

She supposed that it was selfish the way she told him, in his office where people could see, but she didn't want him to dissuade her. Their home held too many memories, too much that could make her falter. 

Taking a deep breath she entered the hustle and bustle of the campaign office in New York. She had a hard time finding Sam amongst all the people packing up making ready to move off again.

She was startled when someone caught her elbow and she turned around and found herself looking into his eyes. He smiled at her and gave her a big hug.

"Hey," he smiled, "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Hey," she replied, rather subdued. "Can I talk to you for a minute? Somewhere private?"

His happy expression turned to worry and he showed her into a small glass panelled office, closing the door behind them.

"What's wrong Lise?" he asked her.

"Sam I have to say something. I want you to hear me out and I don't want you to try and change my mind. Ok?"

"Ok?" He looked really worried now. She couldn't look at him while she said this. Couldn't watch his eyes reflect his heart shattering.

"I can't marry you Sam." She heard him gasp behind her but she ploughed on. "I'm sorry. It's not going to work. To marry me you'd give all this up. I know you Sam Seaborn, you let all of this go, this big chance, just to be with me. I can't be responsible for that. I'm sorry." The tears wouldn't stop flowing from her eyes now but still she carried on. 

"I have to do it for me to, baby. I can't leave my job here. Here's where I always wanted to be this is my dream. I've spent months pining for you baby. I've cried myself to sleep more nights than I can count because I missed you so much. I can't do that anymore."

Slowly she turned around, taking the small diamond engagement ring from her finger. Lisa hadn't known what to expect but what she saw broke her heart even more. Sam just stood there staring at the floor, tears streaming down his face. Gently she took his hand and placed the ring in it. 

"I'm going away for a while so I won't be in contact. I call when I have sorted myself out. I love you baby, that's why we have to do this. I love you so much." With her last tearful words she pulled his head down to her and kissed him gently on the forehead. Leaving him there she opened the door to the office. Several people were standing outside; observing what had been going on. One of them was Josh.

"Take care of him Josh." She said as she passed, gently touching his arm. "He'll need you now more than ever."

"Why Lisa?" he asked plaintively. 

"It's for the best Josh. I love him too much." She couldn't say anymore and walked out. Taking one last look back she saw that Josh had gone into the office and was holding a sobbing Sam in his arms.

* * *

She came back from her trip feeling sad but knowing it had been the right thing to do. She went to the Gallery first. Not wanting to go back to the apartment just yet. She found a note waiting for her there.

_Dear Lisa,  
I hope you had a good trip. I have enclosed my set of keys. I won't need them now. I have transferred the apartment into your name, it's yours to do with what you want. _

I miss you so much. I think the first few weeks afterwards were the worst of my life.

I want you to be happy Lisa. Know that I still, and think will always, love you. If you ever need someone to talk to call me.

Sam"

The tears began to flow again. She thought she was all cried out. Taking out her diary and a pen she carefully noted down his number, not sure that she would ever get the courage to call him.

Time went past though. Lisa followed the presidential campaign avidly. Every now and then she would catch a glimpse of him in the background. She would always know which speech he had written. 

She cried when she found out Bartlett had been elected. Her joy for Sam was overwhelming. About a week after inauguration she came home to find a message on her machine. It was from him. He left a number for her to call if she ever needed anything, the direct line to his office in the White House.

She followed all the goings on in the capital, watched all of Bartlett's speeches, anything to keep a little piece of him still in her life. 

She never called him.

* * *

Present Day

Lisa had come home from a long day at the gallery. A new artist had just been signed for a major exhibition, causing her more than a few headaches. She had been secluded in her office all day and hadn't managed to see anything of the news. 

When she turned on her television she dropped her bag in shock. It was all over the news. Someone had shot the President. 

Her first thoughts were of Sam, 'was he ok?' 'Had he been hit?' It was then that another picture flashed up on the screen. That of Josh Lyman. 

"Oh God Josh." She said to the empty room. Checking her watch she saw that it was nearly midnight. Picking up the phone she dialled the number that Sam had given her so long ago. No one answered. 

"Of course no one would answer. The President and his best friend have just been shot!" She shouted angrily. 

She couldn't go to sleep, she kept telling herself. She just sat and watched and waited. All she could do was worry about him. 

Lisa jolted awake. She had dozed off on the sofa, the television still re-playing news of the evening's events.

Checking the time again, she smiled. Nearly three o'clock. She picked up the phone and dialled again. She waited for a long time. 

Just as she was about to hang up someone picked up. She heard his tired voice on the other end.

"Sam Seaborn."

She couldn't help it. There was no other way that she could answer him like this.

"Hey baby, it's three am I must be lonely."

* * *

The End

* * *

©Starfish 2001  
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I don't own these characters (although I would like to lock Sam up in my bedroom but that's not really something you all need to know about) I'm just having some fun with them for a while, I promise you can have them back (well maybe not Sam, see previous). They all belong to the God of TV writing Mr Aaron Sorkin, Warner Bros and NBC (I think. Anyone else who has claim to them please don't sue me. All you'll get is a raggedy old teddy bear and £10000 of student loan debt)


End file.
